Cookies For Santa

I had to post our Cookies for Santa pics. Adyson couldn't wait to bake these cookies, and was thrilled when Travis brought the cookie plate up empty on Christmas morning. She really enjoyed the Santa stuff this year.

Note: Sienna was napping and missed out on the baking fun...maybe next year.

Eve

Christmas Eve was terriffic. We made the drive through the beautiful snow storm to Tree-town. Travis's mom always comes up with some fun games for us to play, and always has her PERFECT fudge for us to snack on. This year we played pictionary-Christmas song style. And a new game called wacky sixes. It was so much fun and I had to laugh at how competitive we all get when we are together!

When the girls woke up on Christmas Eve morning, "Mrs. Claus" left them a gift. They each had these darling Aggie hoodies to wear. A very fitting gift considering the BYU-USU rivalry the Kidman's have.

My favorite part of the night was watching Adyson and Rhaegen play. They are just such cute little blonde friends. My girls are so lucky to have such great cousins. Thankyou Larry and Lorraine for everything. We had such a great time.

Christmas Day

Oh, I am just broken hearted that it is over. I just love Christmas, I look forward to it all year, and it's already over. But...it really was just about perfect!

Truthfully, it was the longest night ever. Travis just had to laugh about how many times I leaned over him to see what time it was. When Sienna started to fuss a little at 6:45, I said "okay, Enna's awake. Time to get up." Trav just laughs. The girls couldn't wait to come downstairs and see if Santa came-and she was not let down when she saw the many, many, many presents he left. She couldn't wait to dig into her stocking. She looked at every object and every detail inside. Her eyes were full of magic! Sienna was pretty funny too. She just loved ripping into her gifts. Travis and I were in heaven watching them just eat it all up.

Adyson has watched us play guitar hero many times, and asked Santa for a guitar. If you know Adyson, you know that she is anything but a rock star. Princess, yes. Diva, yes. Drama-queen, yes. But rock star? Not so much. So Santa brought the guitar, and I wondered if she would like it. But she does. She just jams out as soon as she straps it on. I'm hoping that one day she joins a band. Wouldn't she just be the cutest rocker?

Later in the day we went to my parents house to celebrate with my side of the family. My mom cooked a delicious dinner and we did the present thing one more time. It was utter chaos watching everyone open presents. It was seriously crazy. Amy and her mom (who is also Ady's pre-school teacher) spent hours and hours making Adyson a Christmas Dress-up dress. It was so fun to see the finished product, and Adyson has lived in it since. Amy, thankyou for being such a terriffic Aunt and spending so much time on her gift. It turned out perfect.

Christmas really was such a nice time this year. It was a nice distraction. It was nice to have so much family time together. Travis took this whole week off and we have been just enjoying doing nothing together. He went in for his 3rd treatment today. He is feeling pretty good so far, but is deffinetly tired. We are thankful that the side effects have been minimal.

As hard as the last couple of weeks have been, we have really been touched by so many acts of kindness. The spirit of Christmas and the true meaning were not lost to us this year. We have had so many people call, e-mail, and send happy thoughts our way. Some of Trav's friends from highschool (who he hasn't seen for years) have called just to let us know they are thinking of us and praying for us. We have come home to so many very thoughtful and generous gifts left on our front door and asked ourselves many times if we deserve these things. We know that Christmas time is "tight" for everyone and know that many people had to sacrifice something for us. So to those of you who have thought of us, thankyou. We have cherished every act and know that we truly have the best friends and families in the world. YOU made the spirit in our home this Christmas. YOU have made us want to be better people. I only wish I knew exactly who to thank!

I hope that you all had as good of a Christmas as we did. Thanks again for keeping us in your prayers.

We Rode in A Wonderland Of Snow...

I love snow. I will look out my front window and watch it fall for hours. I think it is so beautiful....but really, I don't look forward to going outside into the cold. (with the exception of skiing) So when my family decided to go to Hardware ranch this morning, I wasn't that excited.

The Elk

The thought of getting bundled up into a million layers of clothes and STILL freezing didn't excite me, and that long drive didn't sound grand either. But, everyone wanted to go, and I didn't want the girls to miss out...so off we were.

Sienna trying to get her Shades on...

She got them...This is my favoirte Sienna smile. Isn't she a doll?

Princess Adyson

It turned out to be such a fun experience. The girls were so excited to be outside playing in the snow, and they loved the sleigh ride. Sienna loved to see the animals and just grinned the whole time. Sweet Adyson just wanted to pet the beautiful horses that pulled us. It was such a fun Christmas thing to do. I hope we make it an annual thing...but once a year is still enough for me!

Trav and I, don't look to close...I'm make-upless!

Our Family...don't worry...we haven't gained 'that' much wieght,

we have about a million layers on!

I have started getting butterflies in anticipation of Christmas. I'm like a friggin' kid. I stay awake at night thinking of it and picturing it in my head. I think my favorite part of Christmas is after the kids go to bed on Christmas Eve. I love the sneaking, wrapping, crazy night. When it is all over, I just lay there waiting for morning. I usually start to stir at like 5 and will probably wake Trav up by 6. (I'm really going to 'try' to hold out till 8 this year!) Christmas feels like a great distraction this year. We have decided NO cancer talk on Christmas! I will have to say that through all of this we have really SEEN the Christmas Spirit through so many acts of kindness. What is your favorite part of Christmas?

I'm loving actually having somewhere to hang my stockings this year!

Humbled (Part 2)

Tonight my sister and her husband and lovely kids came to town. We had a great night. We ate Cafe Rio, played Monopoly, and went to Al's for their Midnight Madness sale. It was a very fun night seeming to start the Holiday for us.

We came home to not one, but two, very special and humbling gifts on our front door. I have no idea who did these things for us, but Travis and I are in complete awe of the blessings we are receiving. I don't feel that we deserve these things- and am vowing that when our lives are normal we will try our best to do these great acts of service for others.

So Thankyou from the bottom of both our hearts. I wish I knew who you are so I could hug you tightly!

Humbled

Okay...I am feeling like my posts are becomming awfully depressing and full of cancer yuck-like this blog is a cancer blog and not a family blog. So forgive me for giving you one more detail of our fun filled day at the hospital. (I hope the sarcasm read through there.) I think that after today our life will become much more normal (or at least normal for us.) And the most you will have to hear is about his weekly treatments.

Travis got his portacath put in today. They said it would be like 2 hours there, and instead it turned into four...but it went well and he is feeling pretty good tonight, just a little sore. As soon as the port was put in he went strait over for his second treatment. I can already tell that it was a good decision to have the port installed. It will make his life a lot easier! :)

I have been on a very emotional rollar coaster ride this last week. I think I have felt every single emotion known to man-all in the same day. I feel almost numb during the days-and do my best not to think about what lies ahead for us. I find myself feeling angry often, not at anyone, just angry that our family has to go through this. I have let myself become a little bitter... and that really isn't who I want to be. It just is very easy to become this way. But every time I start feeling this way something happens that makes me feel totally embarressed for feeling this way. I get humbled very easily.

Today when Travis went to get his treatment there was a girl there just leaving. She was my age and just finished her last round of Chemo today. She has a daughter who is 20 months old and I imagine that for a good portion of her daughters life she has been sick with her treatments, and still will have to wonder if her cancer will come back.

Last week when he was there he sat by a boy who was probablly 18 years old. He has a huge tumor in his arm and was undergoing his fourth round of Chemo. He looked terrible and very sick, and he still has a battle to fight.

And one of my friends from highshools baby has luekemia. He has spent too much of his life in the hospital and feeling sick. I cannot imagine watching my child go through this. I pray that he soon will get a normal childhood.

Like I said, I am humbled. I NEED to realize that we aren't the only people in the world going through this. I know that it is worse for many, many people. Granted, our situation is not ideal, but it could be so much worse.

Now I am not going to pretend that I am going to stop feeling sad for myself. I know that I am far from perfect and will sulk often. I will probablly get grumpy way too much, cry too much, and eat too much also...but I am going to try and remember that it could be worse, and for many others it is worse.

So tonight I am feeling thankful that we have a fight to fight, rather than one we have already lost. I am feeling excited for our life to get back to normal. I am very excited for Christmas and the magic it brings, and I am excited to get back to posting fun pictures of my girls and showing you are truly silly they are. I just want life to get back to normal! ;)

Thankyou ladies at the Kutting Edge for these beauties. I miss you guys!

I told you we deserved good news...

The Doctor just called. He said that his brain looks normal, and joked that now we have proof that he has one :), and that his bones are fine (other than the rib we already new about.) Go ahead, celebrate for us! We are thrilled. I know it's silly to feel happy right now because the situation is still pretty crappy, but I will take any good new I can get!

No News

Heaven was this morning. Travis missed work today because of all the tests at the hospital. So this morning I woke up to Adyson, Sienna, and Travis all in our bed. Sienna and Adyson were hugging eachother and laughing, and it was just pure heaven! I NEED more mornings like that!

We met with the Surgeon first to discuss getting his portocath put in. It sounds like a pretty easy procedure and we aren't terribly nervous about it. He will go in for that on Thursday and right after that we will go and start his second treatment. What a crazy week!

Next he went to get his MRI, and later his bone scan. We unfortunatly don't have any results yet, and are on pins and needles to hear them. I am just praying for good news for a change....we deserve good news....don't we?

Tonight I am feeling bummed that I never got around to doing our Christmas cards. I have recieved so many cute ones this year! So next year my friends, expect a double cute one from the Kidman clan! Also, tonight when we got home there was a bundle of gifts at our front door. What a fun thing to come home to. It brightened my very long day! One was a basket of things with cute messages attatched like a PEOPLE magaine with tag that says "for when you don't want to think about anything at all." My favorite ice-cream "for when you just need to pig out" and Little Ceasars gift cards "for when you don't want to cook. How thoughtful-and once again, How awesome are my friends. One had a beautiful message attatched that just made me tear up, but for happy reasons, not sad ones! Thankyou for thinking of us!

Anyways-I really just wanted to post to let you know we are still waiting on results. Thanks for checking in and praying for us! Enjoy the last week of Christmas!

A New Do

In Ashley's hand is my hair, yes, I needed a change. The after shot. I am excited about my new short cut! I don't even miss those long locks yet!

The LONGEST week Ever

Well, it's official. Last week was the LONGEST week of my entire life. I am exhausted. Travis is exhausted, and anyone close to us is exhausted. Since his First Treatment, Trav has done really well. The only side effect so far is on Saturday he had a pretty bad headache all day. We are pleased that he has done so well and hope that it doesn't get any worse as treatments continue.

We are facing this thing the best we can, and are trying to make our attitudes as good as possible. For the sake of my kids I have tried my hardest not to break down in front of them. And to be honest, it has made life a little easier. I'm afraid that some people think I am heartless because I am not crying all the time. I have heard "you are so strong" many times this week, and I just have to laugh. We have our moments thats for sure!

We still are feeling the prayers and love of many people around us. At church yesterday I learned that half the ward reads my blog-who knew? So to those of you in my ward who read this, don't judge me if a swear word seeps out through the blog, and Thankyou for your concern. We love our neighborhood and our ward!

This week a few of my greatest friends and I went to lunch. It was a lovely and much needed escape. Thankyou Lorinda and Ashley. I love you girls.

We had some random dude take this in the Coppermill parking lot and I'll admit, it's not our best picture, but they are babes either way!

First Treatment

Travis went in for his first treatment today. It seemed to go smoothly and as of tonight he still feels fine. The side effects of this drug are not as bad as the side effects of Chemo, but everyone responds differently, so we are on edge just trying to figure out how his body will take it.

We had a very nice chat with Trav's doctor today and were able to ask the questions that have been brewing over the last few days. He will go in once a week for treatments and in 8 weeks we will do another scan to see how he is responding to it. *crossing fingers* If it seems to be working he will continue on with the same medicine. Our hope is that it works, and he can do this for years and years. If this medicine doesn't work, there are a few other options he can try, but we will hopefully not have to cross that bridge!

Tuesday seems to be a big day for us. Travis will go in to meet with a surgeon about getting a "port" put in. (This will make them able to hook his IV up to his chest and he wont have to get his veins pricked every week. He also will go in for an MRI to check his brain and make sure it hasn't spread there. Later during the day he will go in for a bone scan. It has affected his rib, so they want to see if it has gone anywhere else. The best part about this is that Travis feels fine. He doesn't have any aches or pains. If this medicine works, he will continue to feel pretty healthy. We are lucky in that area. I know that when it spreads to the bone it can be a very painful thing, so thank goodness he feels okay.

I guess that is about all we learned today. After Tuesday it is really just a waiting game-and we will be doing a whole lot of praying. Once again I feel like I need to write a few things that I am thankful for today. I know this may seem silly, but it really helps my attitude!

Another nieghbor and friend came over today. She brought a poinsetta, and a barbie for each of the girls. I LOVE that she thought of the girls. I am trying so hard for them to feel normal and for our house to feel happy. So thankyou for that!

Trisha stopped by today too bearing Papa Murpheys Pizza's for us. (they look delicious!) Trisha has been a friend for such a long time and it was just so nice to have her think of us. Thankyou T-lee. I love and appreciate you.

The bishopric stopped by tonight. We love these men. Travis has had the pleasure through his calling to get very close to them. They brought such a great spirit into our home tonight. The Bishop sat us down and told us that when things like this happen, there are two paths you can take. One-you can be angry with God. You can blame him and turn away from him. Or Two-you can turn to him. You can lean on him, and have him carry you through this. What a beautiful message! We are doing our best to lean on him, along with leaning on all of you.
I promise these sappy daily posts will stop soon. Thankyou all again.

Sick of me yet?

I'm going to apologize in advance for the many posts you all are going to have to read in the next few days. This blog has become such a great way to keep in touch with so many friends and has been a great journal and release for me. So instead of sitting her feeling sad, I am going to write about a few things that have really touched my heart today. I am sorry for the cheese factor, but I'm feeling very sappy.

I decided to give myself one day to sulk, so today I took the day off. I didn't do my hair-it's still damp from my morning shower. I didn't do my make-up. I didn't really take care of my kids. (Don't worry, my mom was here to help!) I ate like crap, and took a very long nap. I feel exhausted. But the day is now over and tomorrow I am going back to normal..or as normal as we can be. So I am done and I'm sorry for the whining! I just wanted to share a few things that made me smile today and say a few thankyous.

Around noon today my friends starting coming. One after another, phone call after phone call. Some of them got the tears, and some of them I was all teared out, but I appreciated each of them all the same. Thankyou for pretending not to notice that I had huge, puffy, make-upless eyes. Thankyou for taking Adyson to play. Thankyou for cleaning the playroom. Thankyou for your prayers.

I got these beautiful flowers from Ashley today. Seriously, how did I get such great friends? Thankyou Ashley for taking such good care of me always. I love you.

Tonight when Adyson came home from her friends house, we asked if she had a good time. She rambled on in one of her very lengthy "Adyson Stories" about how her friend had to "pee" at Lexi's and thought she saw a spider so she was "freaking out." So funny to hear my 3.5 year old say "freaking out." Those girls of ours sure give us the warm fuzzies! So to our angels, Thankyou for making our house feel happy and warm. We love you.

Thankyou to our families. Parents, Brothers, and Sisters. You are all trying so hard to take care of us, and we appreciate you. I know you all feel the same way we do-so take care of yourselves too. I feel so lucky that we can all lean on one another. We love you.

Thankyou to the ICON boys. I love sending him off to work and knowing that you all will help his life feel normal. Just don't tease the "sick guy!" Homemade Oreos to come.

And lastly a little Thankyou to Travis. The other day I was checking my e-mail with Travis over my shoulder. I have a hotmail acct. and I guess I missed the t. So I typed in homail. Travis thought this was too funny. Homail. So today when I checked my e-mail I was just laughing, that is something you always make me do. Laugh. I love you. HOmail, it's funny, I know you are laughing!

Sienna begged me for her hat today, and I thought she looked so sweet, I couldn't resist posting it. Thankyou all for your prayers!

We've had better days

I debated on wether I should blog about this or not... and decided that we could use all the prayers we can get, so here I go.

In my last post I wrote that Travis went in to get his CAT scan today. He goes every December and usually the same day the Dr. will call and say that everything looks okay. Merry Christmas to us. Today the nurse called and asked us to come in. Not a good sign.

So we met with Trav's doctor today. His cancer is back. He has a tumor in his Left (and only) kidney, spots on his chest, some in his right ribs, and a lesion on his liver. We were completely blindsided by this. He feels terriffic and healthy, and it just FELT like he was a cured man.

Our doctor spoke with us for a good hour or more today giving us treatment options. He too, was totally shocked by the test results. Chemotherepy doesn't work for RCC but they have a few new drugs that they didn't have even 2.5 years ago when he was diagnosed. So on Thursday Trav starts his treatments. He will go in for 1 hour once a week. Trav's cancer is incurable, but our hope is that the medicine will help to shrink it, or at least stop it from growing more. The medicine shouldn't make him too sick, and he should still be able to work, which we are grateful for.

Tonight my dad gave Travis a blessing and once again I was struck by how lucky I am to have the priesthood in our lives. What a comfort that is to us!

Needless to say, we are totally shocked and heartbroken over these results. We really had gotten cocky and felt like we were in the clear. We are terrified-stressed-sad and worried, but whenever something like this happens, we are amazed at how many people take care of us. So thankyou in advance for your prayers, and for all your friendships. We know that we are blessed in many ways, and will do our best to be optomistic that things will end up happy!

Bre and Ashley...Thankyou for bailing me out tonight!

Some early Christmas Gifts and send Happy thoughts our way!

A few days ago my mom and I ran to tai-pan to do some Christmas shopping and just to spend the day together. It is no secret that the women in my family have a beautiful bond. We laugh together always, and tell eachother everything-and we are friends. I credit this to my mother who has always taught us how important we should be to eachother. I feel more than blessed to have a mother who I love and who inspires me to be a kinder, better person. Thankyou for the fun day mom and for being such a beautiful person. (We missed you Amy and Heather!)

While we were there my mom said she still had one gift to get me...and let me pick out this little beauty! I'm loving my new table centerpiece!

Then on Saturday my in-laws came over and brought yet another early Christmas gift for us. My sweet MIL made this beautiful quilt for me and I cannot express how much I love it. It was a great surprize and I was truly touched. It must have been a lot of hard work! So Lorraine, Thankyou...you always put so much thought into our family and this is something I will cherish forever. You really are much to good to us, and we love you!

One more thing...Tuesday Travis goes in for his yearly CAT scan. We are sort of on the edge of our seets and just praying that things still look good. So we could sure use good thoughts and prayers! If things look good-we are 1/2 way there! I hope you all are having a great Holiday Season!

Our little Sunbeams

I was going through my blog roll tonight cursing those of you who haven't updated in a while, and realized that a whole week has gone by and I have nothing exciting to post...So here is a bit of randomness.

Travis and I were able to go on a little shopping date this weekend. Alone time for us is rare and it was so much fun. We finished almost all of our shopping, and had a nice lunch...with the most annoying waitress ever-but it was nice just the same. I feel pretty lucky to have married Travis. One day I will blog about our how we fell in love, and you all WILL agree that I got lucky, and he shouldn't have put up with me.

Sienna has started talking up a storm, and is pretty much a parrot now. She loves to sing songs and her new favorite is Sunbeam. She doesn't know all the words yet, but I thought it would brighten your day. I love how she can't sing it without jumping!

And here is a picture of Adyson..just because I think she looks beautiful...wouldn't you just kill for her hair? In 3 weeks Adyson will be going into Sunbeams for Primary. I can't believe how big my kid is getting! Someone stop her from growing up!

A Few Favorites

I got my pics back of the girls today. I think they turned out DARLING! Eileen, if you are reading this-thankyou.thankyou.thankyou! (She didn't think they turned out that great, but I think they are perfect!) Here are a few favorites-I tried to limit myself to only posting a few...and failed-so here is a bunch!This one cracks me up, it is just silly Sienna. She must have been soooo hard to photograph!We see this face a lot at our house!

First Snow... Finally!

It FINALLY snowed her in Cache Valley. I am thrilled! As much as I love fall, I NEED a white Chrismtas! I took Adyson to school on Tuesday, and when by the time I went to pick her up the streets were snow packed. The trees were covered and it is just beautiful! Here are some pics of the girls outside playing in the yard.

Sienna was sooo excited to be outside and she loved the snow! Adyson was just excited to make a snow angel and footprints in the snow.

This is right after we came in and took our coats off. Sienna was so upset that she had to come in. Do you think she is a drama queen?

We brought the Green Bean Casserole

Thanksgiving was Wonderful! I enjoyed this long weekend more than ever and take back a few things I said about this Holiday. First off, I found a few pies I adore, and probably will crave from now on. Lemon supreme and Pecan pie. DELICIOUS! The turkey just fell apart and everyone said that my mom cooked it PERFECTLY. We asked Adyson if she liked the turkey and her answer was, mom it's chicken, and it's delicious. It took some convincing that the turkey was indeed-turkey! (she's a nut!) Sienna adores Potato's and has stuffed herself full of them for the past few days, and yes, Trav and I brought the green bean casserole (my fav.) And as usual, the stuffing was my moms best creation yet! (Thankyou mom!) This year Thanksgiving seemed more relaxed than usual. It was just our immediate family, and my Grandma. It was nice to have us all there together in such good spirits. I had to look around the table many times and realize how truly blessed and lucky I am to have such a beautiful relationship with my fam. My siblings are more like best friends and we have all picked spouses who blend right in and who I adore. Now I have to admit, we are anything but traditional. We are perverted at times, we tease eachother constantly, and yes... the occasional swear word flies across the table-but we do love eachother and I know that we have relationships that will always be good and happy.





So this year I have much to be thankful for, here are just a few.





-My husband is healthy, something I will NEVER take for granted again.


-I have two dream kids. I adore these girls of mine.


-My parents, who constantly teach me, and who love me always.


-Pecan Pie


-The basement is finished-finally, and as I type this, I am sitting in front of the fire!


-I have siblings who are also friends.


-Velour pants from Old Navy-laugh if you will, but man they are cozy!


-In-laws who I love and adore.


-The gospel.


-Many good friends.

I totally forgot to take pics this weekend, but here is a cute one of the girls decorating the basement tree. Most of these ornaments seem to be at the Bottom of the tree, Everytime I walk past I just secretly grab one and put it up high! I LOVE Christmas!

Tagged again....

I have been tagged again, with all these tags, I'm afraid you will all realize how truly BORING I am. But Jamie, because I heart you, I will try and find something interesting to write about me!

1.I really don't look forward to Thanksgiving. Don't get me wrong, I love to be with our families, but it's just not really my FAVORITE Holiday. I don't eat potato's, I don't eat turkey, and I really don't love pie. One thing I do love is my moms stuffing! I adore it and will manage to stuff myself full of it! This year I am in charge of making a few desserts and have decided on making a few mini cheesecakes so I don't have to eat PIE! YUCK!

2.I am like a kid at Christmas. I honestly can't sleep for days, and usually wake up before the kids. I have to wake them up at 6:00 because I can't wait for them to see if Santa came. I'm such a dork!

3.I am a PLANNER and a LIST MAKER. For instance, I have already made 2 different lists for Adyson's birthday party. Her birthday isn't till the end of March! I find reasons to make lists for everything!

4.I love to throw parties and have people over. I thrive on having to clean my house, cook for others, and clean up when they leave. (mom, I wonder where I got that from..)

5.I am a binge book reader. Even if the book sucks, I usually have to finish it.

6.I am a hypochondriac, and my family finds it extremely funny. (Lorinda, if you are reading this, Can I use a straw yet?)

Thats all! They aren't really interesting, but there you have it. I tag.....

Ashley, because I want to be the first one to tag you.
Brittney, because you are such a fun writer.
Heather Johnstun, because seriously girl, update!
and Michelle, because I am loving you blogging!

Demulletization

It's a good thing she has such lovely curls because Sienna's hair grows in awfully silly. The very front top of her head is only like 2 inches long, and super thin. the back, however, is growing in beautifully. I hated cutting some of those curls, but my hope is that SOMEDAY the top will catch up with the back. Here are some pics of Sienna's first haircut.

Before...

After...

I guess she likes it...

A bit of Sienna...

I feel as though I have neglected our little Sienna in the last few posts. Now Sienna is our little Angel, and we just adore her, but getting a good pic of her is darn near impossible. I mean seriously impossible. She is such a goer, and when I get the camera out instead of smiling, she just says "smile." Don't believe me? Here is today's picture quest.

That's right, she's just a crying in the last one. After many attempts, we did finally get a few good ones. I know I am her mom, but isn't she just a doll?