Sunday, March 30, 2014

Catching Up

Here's a little catch up since my last post.
A lot has been going on!
I was able to go to the last Aggie Home Game,
and also my first since Travis passed away.
I will tell you this,
the spectrum was one of Trav's favorite places to be.
I was nervous to go without him,
but it was a great time.
(Not to mention our front row seats were kinda awesome.)
I wish he could have been with me!
I miss getting the daily updates on all his favorite teams.
I didn't even get to fill out a March Madness bracket.
These things still hurt a bit. 

My Sweet Adyson rocked the halls.
She has really flourished in 4th grade.
It's been a very good year school wise.
I'm proud to be her mom!
The ladies and I gave Trav some lovely spring decor.
It's joyful, orange, and beautiful!

Adyson baked her first pan of brownies.
It ended up all over her face,
but tasted great!
Candace and I went to bunco in complete matchy outfits.
This just makes me laugh!
About a week before Adyson's bday,
we through her a swimming party.
This was-by far- thea easiest party I've thrown!
Thank you's
Sack dinners.
A happy almost 10 year old.
Towel picnic-cute friends.
And a pool.
She's growing up so fast.
I loved that she got adorable clothes from her friends for her bday...but it's a sure sign that she's getting older!
We had one more ski day.
I love spending these days with my ladies!

I've been incredibly blessed with some great friends.
Lots and lots of really great friends.
A few of them suggested a much needed vacation,
basically to make sure I got a break and smiled for a bit.
I am incredibly blessed with wonderful people in my life.

Off we were to California.
Day 1: We shopped. And ate. And basked in the sun.

Day 2:
With no kids!
(Except we did dance, skip, sing, and laugh really maybe we acted like kids?)

Day 3: People watching in Venice.
Lunch in Santa Monica.
Beach in Malibu.
Farmers Market and Grove in LA.

Day 4:
Laguna Beach.
Shakes in Newport.
Dinner in Newport.
Newport Temple.

And then two days later, at home,
my girl went and turned 10.
I love this girl,
so incredibly much.
It was pretty hard having her b-day without Travis.
Just another reminder that he isn't here to help her grow.
I miss him.
They miss him.
And I hope I can do them justice.
My better half is gone....

we surprised her by waking her up early for breakfast at kneaders and a new outfit.
Isn't she beautiful?
And after school I threw her a family surprise party at Fredricos.
I told her we couldn't celebrate till Sunday.
She was trying really hard to be happy, but I could tell she was pretty sad that 
just the 3 of us were going to dinner.
She was thrilled to see the family there with cake and presents!
What a fun surprise.
I adore her.
Can't wait to see where life takes her.
Roo stayed home sick.
I kinda loved it.
Does this make me a bad mom?
Because I could snuggle her all day long.
This weekend was a special one.
Heather and her kids came up and we took my beautiful niece Breje shopping for her first prom dress,
and my sweet Roo got to pick out her baptism dress.
It was just such a lovely, fun-girly day!
So glad they shared it together.
Spring break started today with a blizzard...
I am racking my brain trying to come up with ways to celebrate the week off.
I hope we can make some lovely memories!

Monday, March 24, 2014

{Adyson's Blanket: Another Lovely memory of T}

I will never forget a few things in my life.
This is really saying something because, as I've mentioned before,
my memory is pretty terrible and I have forgotten most of my childhood,
high school, and even good chunks of my marriage.
 (This breaks my heart...I try not to dwell on it.)

But I will never, ever, ever forget deciding to start having babies.
One day, children weren't even close to being on my mind,
and then I woke up the next morning and I just felt like it was time.

Looking back on this,
I see God's hand in my life more then ever.
We would never have been able to have both of our kids if we
didn't start when we did.
It is another beautiful miracle in our life.

I woke up-looked at Trav and said,
"I think we should try to have a baby."
He looked at me like I was crazy...
and then agreed.

9 months later,
9 months later,
Adyson joined us and made me a mother,
and made T a daddy.
He was many things.
 A provider,
a husband,
a computer nerd,
an avid board game winner,
a golfer,
but his absolute favorite title-was,
and I'm sure still is,

So yes,
having a baby was my idea.
But I'm not gonna lie,
I wasn't prepared for it one bit.
And I'm telling you this,
I wasn't good at it,
or comfortable with it.
I loved her right away,
I mean, I was smitten and would have done anything for her,
but the "mommy stuff", well...
Trav was better at it.

He could expertly change a diaper,
and while I was so scared to bathe her for fear she'd
slip right through my hands,
he would revel in it.
He would wake up to feed her in the middle of the night,
and honestly,
many-many times I'd offer,
and he would say "No, I got it.  I miss her when I'm at work."
He'd sing to her, rock her to sleep,
and somehow keep her asleep as he laid her down.
(Adyson fought sleep. Hard. And she still does.
She just hates missing anything!)
He was just always so good at it,
and always adoring and selfless.

My girls,
Oh how I pray they remember how incredibly loved they were. And are.

One night when Adyson was probably about 5 months old,
Trav kissed me goodnight while
I was doing dishes and went to bed.
Adyson had been asleep an hour or two.

He crawled into bed and heard-very clearly,
a voice telling him to
"Go check on Adyson."

He instantly got up,
and when into her room to check on her.
She was in her crib, and when we put her down,
we must not have noticed the fringe blanket in her bed with her.
She had taken a piece of the fringe and sucked it in her mouth.
Travis pulled it out,
and she gasped for air.

He picked up the blanket,
made sure she was ok,
and went to bed.

He didn't even tell me about it until the next morning.
When I instantly had a heart attack and felt like the worst mom
on the planet....but I wont go into that, because the story isn't about
my unfit parenting skills. ;)

I married someone who listened when a prompting came his way.
And I truly believe he saved my sweet baby's life that day.
This is something I never want to forget,
and never want my kids to forget.

Marry someone who listens, and uses his gifts the way God intends him to.  I hope they remember that their Daddy never stopped doing that.  I am so proud that he's my husband. So grateful for the
father he was, and is.

Adyson turns 10 tomorrow.
My heart is breaking that she is growing another year older,
and Travis can't be here to celebrate with us.
He can't be here to tell her how amazing she is,
and to lead her by his example.
These days feel very hard to me,
and they just make my heart ache.
I know he is watching her,
I know he's proud of her.
I have no doubt that he is still doing his best
to make sure she is taking the right path for her life.

But man,
I sure wish he was right here holding my hand while I do this alone.

These pics.
I mean.
Oh man.
I miss him.
And us.
That is all.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014


March brings our annual trip to the Happiest place on Earth.
This year was different, of course.
But we only shed a few tears and we had as much fun as we could.
I'm so sad it's already over!
 We just love that place!

Isn't there such excitement just getting on the airport shuttle knowing
that your going somewhere far away!?
My girls ride the shuttle in style.


We invited my Mom, My Aunt Sue, and my cousin Linsey to join us.
It was the perfect group to help us laugh,
and really we laughed.
And this group of girls...well, we can eat!

We got to our hotel before our room was ready,
so the girls swam while we basked in the sun.
It was LOVELY!
Then we headed downtown for dinner.
Our first stop?
DUH.  Peanut Butter Grahams.
This was the first of many.
I wont say the amount....
 but many.

The next morning we were off to the park bright and early.
and excited!
Here they are with Linsey.
They adore her!

And I'm sorry,
but I had the cutest girls in the entire park.
Oh I love them!
The Jungle cruise.
My sister in law Amy, is obsessed with Mary Poppins.
We were so excited to get a pic just for her.
The crew.
We ate Disneyland Soup the first day.
It was strange sitting out in the courtyard without T.
We really missed him the whole trip,
but the little moments-like eating his favorite soup,
or shopping for surprises is when it really crept up on us.
Linsey was a fan.

This shot...
makes my day.
I think we have this shot...6 years running. 
It's a classic.
Also, missed Trav always having a really high score.
He put us all to shame every time.
 Sue and I wearing twinner shirts...and being pirates?  I think?

We ate breakfast at Goofy's kitchen.
It was an absolute blast.
And Disney has hired a mad hatter who is worth meeting.
He was hilarious.
I love these ladies!

Linsey found this hat...yes, Mickey's butt.
So they bought me Minnie's.  We looked like idiots, but it was just too funny.
We were called buttheads the whole trip.
We loved walking around in our minnie ears.

It rained on day 3.  Not horribly,
for the most part it just drizzled here and there and that made it really fun.
I did get caught in a serious downpour, but only for a minute.
And we ate.
We ate so much.
I can't even tell you.
I'm sick when I think of it!

Disneyland was good to us.
It's a new chapter.
And a strange one.
But we still loved it, and I know that's what T would want for us.
The next day we had big plans to go to the beach,
and the farmers market,
and hang out in LA,
but it poured.
So we ate a quick lunch in LA and then we drove around.
Sue was geeking out over rodeo drive.
And Linsey and i were just feeling pretty cool driving around in our
We tried to spot some celebrities...
but we failed.

The last night we hung around the hotel and ate some PF changs and watched movies.
It was actually really fun and kinda nice to wind down.
We were sad to be coming home!
We hold a lot of Disney memories in our hearts with Travis.
We missed him every second and wish he could have been there,
running around like he could have only done years ago.
We were so grateful that we had such wonderful people to share it with.
They made the trip special and FUN!
Till next year Disneyland.