Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dear Simon,

My friend Eileen called me out on her blog because she has been missing my AI recaps. Because I just love her, I am recapping via a letter to Simon. Feel free to read, but Adam lovers beware. I am NO fan of his.....

Dear Simon,
Mr. Cowell, my old friend. We've sure been through a lot together in the past few years. We've agreed on everything from Clay Aikens clothes and overall nerdiness to SanJaya's hair styles. I've enjoyed your many metaphors and funny words including this years favorite "indulgent". I've laughed when you've made fun of sweet (and crazy) Paula, and I've even overlooked your very sad haircut. (I could fix that for you), but I think the time has come where we part our ways.

You see, you love Adam Lambert. And me, well I do not. At all.

All I hear when he sings is screeching, and I want to throw my shoe at the t.v.

Week after week I wait for you to say something in your lovely British accent about how very screechy his performance was, and each week, you let me down.

I thought we had a connection. It's not me, it's you.

If you want my opinion on the other 3, here you go.

Allyson-I think she has a great voice and tonight in the duet I think she sang Adam's pants off. (Not literally, that would be weird.) She is a great singer but I don't think she will win, and I can see her leaving this week or next week. Her downfall? It is excruciating watching her be interviewed. (Jason Castro anyone?) Am I right??

Danny-I loved Danny from the beginning, but he has fallen off the charts a bit for me. He is still cute as a button (and my friend Janette has mentioned he looks just like Robert Downey Jr.), and I think he definitely has talent, but I think he is a bit cheesy and cocky. He reminds me of Taylor Hicks. (Agree/Disagree?)

Kris-He's my American Idol. It saddened me tonight that you didn't love him. Here is why I did. He is not over the top, and maybe you would like him to be, but he just plain isn't-and I dig that about him. I would buy his CD and when it played dogs wouldn't howl (that's another dig at Adam). He seems mellow and not too cocky (but still cocky enough) and I think he could make some great music. I would love to see him win, though I think his chances are slim. I do hope that because you didn't love him tonight, his fans will be worried and vote like crazy for him. Maybe you will redeem yourself a little if that is the case, but we will see Simon, we will see.

Simon, if you choose to come back next year (and I hope you do), lets try to be on the same page. Singing and screaming are NOT the same thing, spray tanner is not your best friend, and overdone is not always best.

I'm just sayin'.

Missing the old you,
Hayley

P.S. I don't even mind your super tight grey/black t-shirt collection. Seriously, it's better than the amount of cleavage Paula has been sporting lately....

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow I agree with you 100%...wish the judes on AI did also

Tana (Eliason) Draper said...

That's great! You make mr laugh!

Jamie said...

You're hilarious. I agree 100%. I've never been a fan of Adam. I do love that Kris, he's my pick too

Eileen said...

Now THAT is what I've been missin'! Thank you for finally steppin' up!!!

OK. But I hope you'll still love me. I love Adam. I love his voice. I love to look at him. Not because I think he is a Super Stud, but it's kinda like I "can't look away."

But I agree on EVERYTHING else! Come on Paula. Put them away. I'm curious as to what she is going to perform tonight. And also kinda nervous. LIVE IN THE NOW!

And Hayley. I love ya. And I expect you to finish out the season. Even though we disagree on Adam, we can still be friends.

trebmalmada


(Adam Lambert backwards)

Letti said...

I agree 100%!

mortonfam said...

Friday works for me, for sure.

Kylene said...

You kill me! This was so funny.

Bre said...

You always keep me laughing! ANd I totally agree! I have always loved Kris, even though others have not always, but I have from the beginning! Steve has always hated Adam, he is sure that he is half gothic half gay. Oh well. Love this post!

Chellebelle said...

I. Love. You.

Melissa said...

I miss your AI recaps, really!!!! They just make me smile!

Jami said...

Great Letter! My husband would love reading this because he agrees with you completely about Adam...he can't stand him and his screaming. I do agree it is annoying but I think he's a great performer.

Lorinda said...

Friend, you know where I stand on this issue...I hope it doesn't drive a wedge between us :) You do make me smile though.

Morrells said...

We are on the exact same page on AI it's my views to a t so thanks for sharing my pov! Go Kris and please goodbye ADAM!

Chanelle said...

I've been missing your recaps too, this is so funny! I hate to tell you, but Adam is going to win. They are finishing out the season just to make the other contestants feel better, even though America has already decided.

I would never buy his albumn, there's no denying he's in a league of his own. I don't have a favorite this season, because No One can EVER compare to David Cook:)

Amy F. said...

That is great! I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was about Adam that didn't sit right with me, but you did. No doubt that he is creative, a great "performer", and has great music skills, but I'm not so into the high pitch of his voice. I feel the same way -I would most likely buy Kris's album, but I still predict that (I could be very, very wrong) Adam or Danny will win... we'll see ;)
I totally said the same thing about Danny -he's got those Robert Downy Jr eyes!

Mommamort said...

Your comments are right on. I couldn't have said it better.

Haylee Munk Brown said...

So, I never watch American Idol...but I was at my friends house last night and she had it on. I was so very sad to see someone BUTCHER one of my favorite songs of all time!!! And then I watched the those judges say how good it was!!! What a travesty. Apparently this was the so called Adam in question. I did like that cute little red head that followed him though....

The McClellan Clan said...

I LOVE IT, you crack me up. I SO agree with you. I don't know what they are thinking with that guy. I LOVE Kris!!

Jill said...

you make me smile. You know I like Adam, his clothes not so much but I think his voice is awesome. I think he sounds like the guy from Led Zepplin. I really like Kris too. I think it'll be Adam and Kris. Paula is insane! I agree about the fact that I would probably buy Kris' cd over Adam's. you got me there.