Dear Simon,

My friend Eileen called me out on her blog because she has been missing my AI recaps. Because I just love her, I am recapping via a letter to Simon. Feel free to read, but Adam lovers beware. I am NO fan of his.....

Dear Simon,
Mr. Cowell, my old friend. We've sure been through a lot together in the past few years. We've agreed on everything from Clay Aikens clothes and overall nerdiness to SanJaya's hair styles. I've enjoyed your many metaphors and funny words including this years favorite "indulgent". I've laughed when you've made fun of sweet (and crazy) Paula, and I've even overlooked your very sad haircut. (I could fix that for you), but I think the time has come where we part our ways.

You see, you love Adam Lambert. And me, well I do not. At all.

All I hear when he sings is screeching, and I want to throw my shoe at the t.v.

Week after week I wait for you to say something in your lovely British accent about how very screechy his performance was, and each week, you let me down.

I thought we had a connection. It's not me, it's you.

If you want my opinion on the other 3, here you go.

Allyson-I think she has a great voice and tonight in the duet I think she sang Adam's pants off. (Not literally, that would be weird.) She is a great singer but I don't think she will win, and I can see her leaving this week or next week. Her downfall? It is excruciating watching her be interviewed. (Jason Castro anyone?) Am I right??

Danny-I loved Danny from the beginning, but he has fallen off the charts a bit for me. He is still cute as a button (and my friend Janette has mentioned he looks just like Robert Downey Jr.), and I think he definitely has talent, but I think he is a bit cheesy and cocky. He reminds me of Taylor Hicks. (Agree/Disagree?)

Kris-He's my American Idol. It saddened me tonight that you didn't love him. Here is why I did. He is not over the top, and maybe you would like him to be, but he just plain isn't-and I dig that about him. I would buy his CD and when it played dogs wouldn't howl (that's another dig at Adam). He seems mellow and not too cocky (but still cocky enough) and I think he could make some great music. I would love to see him win, though I think his chances are slim. I do hope that because you didn't love him tonight, his fans will be worried and vote like crazy for him. Maybe you will redeem yourself a little if that is the case, but we will see Simon, we will see.

Simon, if you choose to come back next year (and I hope you do), lets try to be on the same page. Singing and screaming are NOT the same thing, spray tanner is not your best friend, and overdone is not always best.

I'm just sayin'.

Missing the old you,
Hayley

P.S. I don't even mind your super tight grey/black t-shirt collection. Seriously, it's better than the amount of cleavage Paula has been sporting lately....