Sunday, January 4, 2015


New Years Eve, for me, has probably been the worst Holiday since Travis passed away.

Last year I remember just feeling so incredibly lost when the clock struck midnight.
I was ending a year full of grief and ache, but it was a year that had Travis in it....
And I was entering a new year-one that Travis wouldn't really be a part of.

Looking back,
I did as good as I could have.

I made loads of mistakes.
But I have learned a lot in the past year,
and I think the girls and I have thrived the best we could.

That being said,
I was really dreading NYE.
Christmas is full of family activies.
I never felt like the awkward third wheel...
But NYE is a Holiday for couples and I kinda wanted to tuck myself in at 9 and forget about it!

I knew my girls would want it to be fun, and so I tried really hard to make it so.

And you know what?
We had a GREAT NYE.

It was a fabulous night!
The house was full of people.
The cousins and friends ran around playing games all night.
We blew up balloons with activites inside that the kids could pop each hour,
and they LOVED it and it kept them so entertained that the adults played games and ate 
ourselves sick the entire night.

We made it till midnight and not once did I feel lonely or like a 5th wheel.
I felt completely content and excited about starting a new year fresh.

Last year instead of setting goals I would for sure break...
I followed a lot of my friends examples by choosing one word to help me be better throughout the year.

Last years was EMBRACE.
I wanted to embrace the good as much as I could.  Embrace the bad when I needed to.
Embrace my new life.  Embrace my kids.  Embrace it all.

It was a great word for last year.  One I reminded myself of often.

I've had a hard time choosing this years word, and it's because so many speak to me.  I have much work to do and so many of them are appropriate-but the word 
is the one I keep coming back to.

This year, I am going to try harder to really LISTEN.

Listen to my kids sweet voices and hear what they really need.
Listen to what they are really saying, when they aren't quite being themselves.
Listen to my body and give it what it needs.
Listen to my heart and hope it takes me in the right places.
Listen to my friends when they uplift me.
Listen to my family who always wants whats best for me.
Listen to the Spirit.
Listen for answers to prayers.

Just Listen.

I am excited to focus on this.
I know it's what I need.

I hope 2015 is a great year for all my dear friends and family members!

(The ladies and I on NYE)

Glow in the dark Slumber party for Adyson...
around 1 am!

Darling friends and cousins at Midnight.

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