Thursday, December 17, 2009

Ode to my Grams

I have mentioned before that my childhood memories are very limited. (In fact, I have a hard time remembering things from high school, or even 5 years ago. Read: my memory sucks). I have small glimpses and every now and then while reminiscing I find a little morsel, and if I grab onto it the memory will come flooding back.

I've been trying really hard to remember my Grandma from when we were younger. She is in the hospital right now after having a very severe stroke on Tuesday, and we are preparing ourselves to let her go. It's been an emotional week for our family. We are very close to my dear Grandma, and up till Tuesday, she's been a fairly healthy, energetic 85 year old. She's an amazing woman, who has been through some very hard experiences in her life, and come out the other side someone I look up to, and adore.

I'm really gonna miss her.
And all I can think about tonight is that I hope she isn't in too much pain right now, and I hope she knows how much we all love her. Really, truly love her.

So for my sake mostly, I'm writing down the few memories I have with my Grams. I wont feel bad if you don't read on...

Strawberries dipped in sugar.
Sleeping in the TV room.
Sunflowers in the bathroom.
Dressing up with her jewelry.
Making Jam. Also known as the. longest. day. in. history.
Sleepovers with my cousins.
Toilet Papering. Yes, you read correctly, my grandma has taken me toilet papering.
Playing the matching game in her front room.
Trips to Kents.
She always bought us donuts at "A hunk of bread" in the mall.
Giving her the white car.
Beaded socks.
Furniture shopping. (The second longest day ever).
Baking cookies.
Practical jokes.
Chocolate covered corn and parties in her front yard.

My memories, I'm sure you can tell, are pretty limited. But I will always remember her wearing lipstick, even if her hair wasn't done. Teasing her because somewhere in her old age she forgot the word please. I'll miss hearing the same story over, and over, and over again. I'll miss her stealing the tomatoes and fries off my plate. I'll miss her calling me at my busiest time of the day. I'll miss watching her interact with my girls. My girls who love her so very much, and who are struggling with what is happening to her right now. I'll miss seeing her for dinner on Sundays. I'm really gonna miss seeing her on Halloween, and watching her face light up when she sees her great grand kids all dressed up.

It's gonna seem strange without her, and sad. But I'm picturing what lies ahead for her, and imagining a life where she can hear everything (she's been almost deaf as long as I can remember, and hated everything about it). I'm picturing her with a healthy body. Imagining her reunited with so many people who love her, and am so happy that she will be relieved of the things that she struggled with in this life.

Grandma with Adyson, Sienna, and Simon Oct-09

Sienna and Grams Nov-09
Grandma and the ladies July-08


Lorinda said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandma, Hay. But I enjoyed reading your memories of made me remember some of the things that I love and miss dearly about my own grandma:) Let me know if you need anything. XOXO

Eileen said...

What a pretty Grams!

So sorry for your sadness.

Darin and Joanna said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. It is so hard to watch them suffer and to let them go even when you know she will be so much happier on the other side. My thoughts are with you. Hang in there!

Melissa said...

Hayley- I am so sorry to hear about your grandma! No matter the age, no matter the circumstances, it's NEVER easy to say good-bye. Treasure that you get the chance to tell her you love her before she passes, I treasure that I had that moment with my grandma before she passed away! It was such a spiritual moment! I will be thinking of you, let me know if I can do anything for your family!

mortonfam said...

She seems like a lovely woman. How lucky that your kids could know her.

p.s. I miss hunk-a-bread.

p.p.s. I miss you all too.
After the holidays, let's pinky swear to get together.

Brittney said...

What a perfect tribute to your Gram. It's crazy and beautiful all at the same time how our lives our so interconnected. Love ya.

Amber Culp Family said...

Love the ode to grams. She truly is amazing. That lovely lady got me addicted to Rummikub! You guys are in our thoughts and prayers. Love ya.

shelly said...

What a sweet Grandma! And your kids are lucky to have such sweet photos with her, I'm sure they will cherish them and the little memories they will remember too.

Thinking of you!

Chanelle said...

So nice to put all those memories together, she sounds wonderful!

Jeff, Jenny and Pearl said...

You guys have had some rough weekends this month! My grandma died of a stroke right before Christmas 6 years ago and it was so hard. I am so sorry you have to go through this, especially at this time of year. But at her funeral one of the speakers said that her parents got an early Christmas present the year she was born (she was born right around Christmas time too) and that they were getting another one the year she died. It was something I hadn't quite thought about before but it made me happy to remember that there are others waiting for us too... it's not just us who miss people when they die. Hang in there.

Hanne and Fam said...

Our thoughts, prayers, and love go out to you. I'm glad you have such wonderful memories of her and I am sure the girls will never forget her love.

Amy said...

I love this post! I got a little teary reading it, and than when I got to the photos- I won't lie...I cried. Here are a few of my own memories of Great Gram....
Simon immediatly taking her cane and hanging it on the door knob.
I love her laugh.
Meeting her for the first time.
I love hearing all the stories Cody has of her.
Taking the kids to see her on Halloween (I am soooo going to miss that!).
She was such a great woman and I can't even comprehend all that she went through in this life! I will miss her!

tina said...

this made me smile, and cry a little. Through the whole list i was thinking what about rummikub!! i remember having to let her win or she'd curse at you.

Gloria said...

Hailey, thanks for sharing the memories of your grandma. It made me cry.Jordan wrote me today and the heading of his letter said "Be of good cheer! My moms stable today but the Dr. said her heart is badly wore. Just hope to bring her home a while longer and enjoy each day! Good luck tommorow and give your grandma a great send off. What a place for her to be this Christmas even though its hard for us. I keep preparing myself for that if thats the case too! Love You Guys. Gloria

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Michelle said...

Let your mom know I am thinking about her.

KIRSTEN said...

Hayley, I believe that when dealing with a loss the best thing you can remember all of the great things they did and all of the good times you spent with them. I can remember staying over at your sweet grandmother's house in the big town of Brigham City, playing rummikub (still to this day, I keep telling the hubby we need to buy it)while watching the television with closed captioning, taking trips to the grocery store to pick up stuff for our hogies.

Your grandmother was indeed an AWESOME person, and I was very fortunate to have met her!

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