Monday, February 4, 2008

Pins and Needles


I fully understand that expression now. The wait for the doctor to call today was excrutiaingly painful! I'll admit it, I got the nervous butterflies.
He did call after the longest wait ever...(really it was only 5 hours) and said that everything is slightly smaller. And by slightly smaller he means like 2mm's. (The size of a pin head.) Hey, any shrinkage is good shrinkage.....(go ahead, laugh...that was funny.)
I have to be honest in saying that I was really hoping for a miracle. I had pictured in my head that the doctor called saying "cancer, what cancer? It's gone..." but I can live with slightly smaller. The doctor did say that he is pleased with the results. Slightly smaller in Trav's case is great considering the type of cancer, and the amount of cancer he has. So from here we just go ahead and do the same stuff. He will go in weekly for his treatments and in 10-12 weeks he will get a CAT scan again and hopefully...more shrinkage.
Travis has had a pretty crappy week though. His tongue is swollen and lumpy...and this morning he required another canker...lucky boy. Saturdays seem to be his really bad days and he doesn't feel like doing much, and selfish girl that I am, I find myself sick of his feeling crappy on his days off. Woe is me, right.
I have decided that maybe my lesson in all of this is to be less selfish. I realize that I have been pretty spoiled in my life. I have had a husband who takes care of us, helps clean the house. He's a diaper changing, dish doing, entertain the kids kind of dad. It's crazy that when he is feeling sick I find myself feeling upset that I have to clean the house by myself. I have found myself feeling sad that we cannot afford some of the material things that I have wanted, and feel bad when his throat hurts so much that he can't talk to me. Woe is me again.
I'm finding it hard to find a balance between life 8 weeks ago and life now. But I am working on it. My goal here is to remember just how lucky I am that he is slowly healing, and to remember how terrible he really feels. It's not just him being lazy.....he's not faking sick. So I will let you know how my journey to a less selfish me goes. :)
Travis gets to take this week off of treatments and I'm hoping that he will feel wonderful! We are planning a great weekend for the family!
We are incerdibly thankful to all of you who fasted for us, and to those who are still praying for us. We always feel very taken care of! Thanks again, and please celebrate our 2mm's with us! We are happy.

26 comments:

mortonfam said...

Distraction. The human head weighs 8 pounds, (we learn this from Jerry Maguire) so next time you get on the scale-- go ahead and subtract 8 pounds.

Michelle said...

It truly is WONDERFUL. I am so happy. Love you Guys!!

Melissa said...

I am glad that you got good news. I hope you have a wonderful weekend with your cute family, it's definately deserved. p.s. you have great taste in music. After I read your post I just sat here in front of my computer listening to sweet jane (I should be folding laundry) oh well-it's not going anywhere, right?

Mike and Tana said...

I am so glad to hear this news. I prayed for you last night! I think it helped along with everyone elses prayers. I hope your hubs gets feeling better while he is off his treatments and we will continue to send our prayers your way! Yea! for the good news.

mortonfam said...

My comment now looks horribly inappropriate. In my defense, it was written before the update on Travis. Wonderful news!!! Celebrate!

Matt & Jill said...

I'm so glad the treatments are working. What a huge blessing. Hope you guys have a great week with out treatments. Thanks for the update.

Anonymous said...

Like you said Hayley....Shrinkage is good......Its going to be OK..before long they will be shrinking right away! Amber and I just had a chat about this, we think you are doing awesome..(yes, I'm at the height of my glory right now with the kids!) Love you

Morrell's said...

Yea! I am so glad that it has shrunk! That is such good news. I hope the week off of treatments helps his sores all heal and that the next time around he won't have to deal with them so much.

Bre said...

Any kind of shrinkage is fabulous! I hope that you guys can have a relaxing week off of treatments together and I hope that he feels better! You deserve a trip and some time off!

Tracy, Courtney & Peyton said...

I am glad for the good news! I really hope that things go even better as the weeks go by! And I hope you have a great weekend too! Travis, get feeling better! Thanks for the updates!

Haueter Photography said...

Good news! I am so happy for you guys and I agree that you need to go and do something fun! By the way, I really love reading your blog. You are an amazing person and I really admire you and your family. You are in our prayers and let us know if you need anything.

Troy & Cami said...

I am so glad to hear your good news, hopfully it just keeps getting better and better. I am always praying for you. You are such a good mom and wife, you are not selfish!

Hiatts said...

That is Great!!! I am glad you guys get a week off.

Kylene said...

I have been thinking of you guys today and was so glad to see a happy blog. Don't you feel selfish for one single second. You amaze all of us and are a great example. I will pray for more shrinkage. :)

Jas & Cam Fam said...

I am so relieved for you! I'm sure that would be amazing to have it be gone but like you said, at least it is heading in the right direction! COngratulations!

Jake and Melese Sorensen said...

I'm so happy you got good news!!! I hope Travis gets feeling better and you and the family can have a great weekend. I'm so excited to see your family. We will be coming to your ward the end of Feb.

Shelly and her boys said...

Yeah for shrinkage. (loved the joke) Any good news is Great new! We'll keep praying and fasting for more shrinkage. One step at a time, right! Your amazing!

Amy Johnson said...

I'm loving a post where everyone talks about shrinkage! :) I'm so relieved, and I'm with you a little bit...I HONESTLY thought the doctor was going to call and say it is all gone! But just the same we can handle baby steps to no cancer!!!

Hanne and Fam said...

I'm glad you got good news too! We'll keep praying for more and that Travis will start feeling better! You are the least selfish person I know!

Jan said...

Shrinkage is great! I wish that the side effects of the treatments weren't so miserable for him. I'm hoping for for more shrinkage!

Trisha said...

I think the overall goal is to be more selfless, but it's amazing how long the process is. I find myself in similiar negative thought processes and I don't even face what you do! Keep it up...you are not alone!

The Wolfley Family said...

I think we're all having a hard time finding a blance between life 8 weeks ago and now. I think it's ok if that takes awhile, as long as Trav keeps getting better!

Linda Johnson said...

Hay, I know I am just your mo but you are brave and strong and you just don't know it. It is ok to let all the crap out now and then. I need you so much to know that I am very proud of you and Travis, for your love for family and friends and for your strength and if now and then you need to crash and burn it is ok, you just need to pull yourself up higher when you are done. Thanks for lifting others on your blog with your faith. Liz Dodge wants to know if she can call us pinheads now and I told her yes, until next time when it changes to nail head or thumb tack head and then she e-maile me back and is looking for the day that she can call us blockheads. Me too! Love you so much, Mom

Paul~Jami~ Ellie said...

I'm so glad it was good news. I have been thinking about you and hoping that I was going to open your blog and read that things are going well. Never be hard on yourself you are a wonderful wife I know it!

Sherisse said...

Hayley, I was so happy to read your good news and anytime you feel like being woe is me, you go right ahead, because sometimes it just makes you feel better. You are so strong, just know that I think of your family often and pray for you. Just like Pres. Hinkley said, "Everything will be alright." Love you

Heidi Kjar said...

Wow you are going through so much right now. Know that I am thinking about you and my heart was aching when I read your post. I hope you feel my love and concern. You are an amazing wife and it is good to know that it is a little smaller.
Lots of love from me to you...