Black and White

I took this picture a few weeks ago. It was taken right before church, aren't they cute?

I had to laugh when I looked at it. Adyson in her "little black dress." (She's such a diva.) And Sienna in her sweet white spring dress. Opposites. And they are.

I assumed when we found out we were having another little girl (Sienna), that she would be like her big sis. Blond as can be, a total princess and girly in every way.

Silly me. They are pretty different kids!

Adyson is scared of everything. I mean everything. Bugs, strangers, going new places...you get the gist. It takes her a while to warm up to new situations. She always gets there, but it takes time with her. She is cautious. (maybe cautious is a better word than scared...)

Sienna on the other hand, dives right in. The other day Adyson was crying because there was a dead bug on the doorstep, (yes, she's scared of dead bugs too). Sienna ran inside, got a tissue, picked up the dead bug, and threw it in the toilet. It was hilarious! She has her shy moments, but usually is waving hello to anyone and everyone.

Adyson has the straightest hair. It is so beautiful and shiny, but jet straight.

Sienna, well you've all witnessed her amazing curls.

Adyson loves barbies and dolls, make-up and dress-ups. All things girlie.

While Sienna enjoys these things, you wouldn't be surprised to see her playing with a match box car any day of the week.

Adyson still doesn't dare go down the hill in a bike. (We are working on it.)

Sienna will hop in her little car and zoom right into the middle of the street.

You get it, they are different! I love their differences. I love Adyson's cautious motherly nature. And yes, I've complained that she's not brave enough at times, but I wouldn't change a thing about her, it's who she is-and I dig it. I love Sienna's brave heart. I love how curious she is, and trusting. And yes, I've complained that she's too brave (the grass is always greener...). I think it is so much fun to watch them grow and see who they really are!

They do have similarities too, like they are dramatic. (I wonder where they get that from...), they are silly, funny, smart, great kids!

Oh and did I mention I think they are perfect? Well, I do.

Going private.

I am waiting one more week before I go private because stragglers are still commenting. If you haven't left your e-mail address here yet, now is your chance! :) If you have, just ignore me.

I have struggled with the decision to go private for quite a while. I really like having lots of people reading my blog, but I have two beautiful little girls and worry that some creepy people might be reading about them.

And hey, I kinda like my girls.

So I am finally going private.

If you are a friend, friend of a friend, fried of a family member,neighbor friend, religious blog hopper, or some one who is checking in on T's condition...I still want you to read my blog. I just want to keep the pervs out.

You know the drill. Leave me your e-mail address and in a few weeks I will invite you in. I think you have to have a google acct. to get in, but that is SUPER easy to set up, and then you can still read my wise words of wisdom.

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A great day

Today Trav took the day off and we went to the Zoo. We went this same weekend last year and it is beginning to be a great tradition for the fam. It turned out to be a great day! The weather wasn't too hot, all the animals were out and about, and it wasn't too crowded.

The girls loved the zoo, but I think they loved having the whole day to spend with daddy. It's almost embarrassing how much they prefer him over me...I love this picture. The girls are really bonding together and have a really beautiful friendship. They were swinging like monkeys while we were waiting for that super awesome train ride.
And speaking of the super awesome train ride...Here we are. I believe this was their favorite part of the whole day. And it was a buck, and if you haven't ridden the train, I will let you know that it is only worth a buck. But they loved it-so whatever.

Daddy and Sienna.
Mom and Adyson
After the zoo we went to lunch and then took the girls to temple square. We weren't sure if they would really enjoy it, but we really underestimated them. Adyson was in awe of the flowers, and it didn't hurt that we saw 5 beautiful brides there. Sienna just loves being outside and was loving roaming free! While we were there we went into the visitor center and walked around and looked at all the beautiful paintings. I loved listening to Adyson tell us about them, and it was beautiful to find a little peace during the craziness of the day. It was great to just spend the day together, but we are all exhausted now, and ready for a relaxing weekend.

A work in progress.

Freaking Cancer. It makes me all sentimental sometimes. Forgive me once again.

When we got the results the other day from the CAT, we were both a little bummed. I know, I know, call us greedy, but we wanted MAJOR shrinkage...We wanted a miracle. We were happy things haven't spread, but you know, we wanted just a little bit more.

So at church on Sunday one of our friends was asking about the results. When we told them there was no change we slipped in our usual "we were really hoping for a miracle." To which he replied, "Isn't it a miracle? I mean really, isn't it amazing that the medicine is working?"

Yes. I guess it is. And while I have been thinking about how maybe this is our miracle, I realized maybe we have had many.

We found out Trav had cancer because he was feeling too tired to golf and losing weight. He had no pain. In a matter of a week they were able to diagnose him, and take his right kidney out. Miracle. They found that the tumor was contained to his kidney by a margin of 2mm. Miracle. If we would have waited longer it would have spread much quicker.

After the kidney was taken out we had 2 years cancer free. Since his cancer has come back I haven't really thought, until tonight, how amazing those 2 years were for our family. They were different than our first couple of years of marriage because all the sudden we were cherishing every second together. We started looking at life differently.

So now, as you all know, it's back. And as much as I have tried to have positive attitude about all of this, I've had my moments...:). But I am realizing tonight that maybe we have had our miracle. It is amazing that my husband has stage 4 cancer and the medicine is working. Maybe instead of waiting and hoping for a miracle to come, and to be cancer free, I should be thankful that there is a treatment that, for now, is working. Maybe this is our miracle.

So once again, I am hoping for a better attitude in all of this and a better outlook on life. Instead of hoping for more I am going to try to be thankful for what we have been given. Don't judge me if I am back to my complaining self in a future post, I am a work in progress you see.

Appreciate these please

3 adults
7 kids
2 photography sittings

What were we thinking?

Please appreciate these pictures. They were pure h*ll to get. Seriously.

Heather and Jody came for a quick visit on their way to Lake Powell. They were only here for a few days and we had much to celebrate. My Grandmas birthday, Brielle's Birthday and Breje's birthday. My mom really wanted to squeeze in the yearly grandkids photo too.

So Saturday morning we woke up and got the kids as cute as possible in their clean new clothes and headed to Kiddie Kandids. Of course there was a wait, so we let the kids burn some energy running through the mall hallways. If you were there, I'm sorry. They were out of control! Finally they got there pictures done, and actually did really well. All smiles, no tantrums, darling pictures. Success, or so we thought.

We sat down to view the pictures and the photographer totally screwed up, there was a curtain in a picture and to zoom away from it we would have to chop Trayson face off or half of Kutter. And hey, we like those 2 boys.

So we had to schedule a retake photo for later. Ugh.

So we went to a birthday lunch for everyone and just prayed no one would spill, and then drug them all back to kiddie kandids where the tantrums were plentiful.

I think they all turned out pretty cute, but please I ask you once again, appreciate these pictures. Don't mind the carpet being in them, they did edit that out in the prints we got.

I also wanted to wish a happy birthday to Grandma, Brielle, and Breje. I am so bummed I didn't get any pictures of the party. Brielle dug into her cake and I swear she almost ate the whole thing! It was great to all be together for a little while this weekend, and I always love to watch Adyson and Kutter play. They are seriously inseparable. BFFS.

One more thing. This weekend I asked Adyson what she wanted to be when she grows up, and she said a mom, so she can get mad. The mother of the year award goes too....

She's growing up, and I'm slowing down

Okay, seriously. Someone stop my Adyson from growing up!

This week has been a good one for Miss Ady, but has made me realize how grown up she is! Yesterday Adyson was invited to an Ice-skating Birthday party. I'm sure I have blogged about Adysons complete fear of...well everything, so I was a bit worried about this party. First they went to cute little "N"s house to eat pizza, cake and ice-cream and to do the gifts. So I walked her over there and she got a little nervous, and I just felt the meltdown coming, but then all of the sudden she calmed down and was just fine.

Apparently I don't have a lot of faith because I was positive they would bring her back crying before they went to the rink, but she went, and she had a blast! She asked if we could go back again today. I'm thinking maybe I will sign her up for lessons...:).

Then today Adyson had her last day of 1st year pre-school. Pre-school has been amazing for Adyson. She has made so many great friends and learned so much. Her seriously amazing teacher made each of the kids yearbooks with pictures of them throughout the year. While I looked at it I couldn't help but tear up. She was soooo tiny when she started, and has really grown in size and spirit this year.

My great friend Lorinda had her baby yesterday, and today I got to go see her. (Rin, she is a beauty!) I couldn't help but think back to when my girls were born. It feels like months ago, not years ago. I have decided that due to my girls growing much to quickly, this year I am going to slow down and soak in every moment. My summer is going to be dedicated to walks, swimming, parks, picnics, chalk on the sidewalks, buying warm lemonade from lemonade stands, camping, running through sprinklers and just loving my kids. I'm slowing down, and I think I'm gonna love it.

More

We did speak to the Doctor on Monday, and he wasn't super worried about the growth of the met to his lung. He said his main concern is that it doesn't spread, and while we don't want it growing, it was a very small amount and nothing to be super worried about.

So 12 more, and then we get to do another scan. Fun!!!

Sorry I didn't post about it sooner. I kind of forgot. :)

Outside fun

For Sienna's Birthday Heather gave her a new Ariel sprinkler, and on Friday I let the girls try it out. Heather, it was a hit! It cracked me up to watch them because they both went at it in their true spirit. Adyson was nervous and cautious, but loved it, and Sienna dove right in. Thanks Heather for the fun gift, just so you know they have asked to run through the sprinklers everyday since!

We had a great weekend. My mom offered to watch the kids for a while on Friday night and we were able to spend some quality time together, which was needed after the CAT. Olive Garden, Borders, Lowes...Romantic eh? :).

Saturday morning Travis put in some time on a flower bed that has turned into a huge eye sore. He put down mulch and put in a nice stone path, (the girls dig it, btw.) It turned out super nice, and he is so proud he actually asked if I took pics to put on my blog. Vain T. Vain. :)

We are excited to finally talk to the doctor tomorrow and hopefully he will be able to explain the results a bit better. We will keep you posted.

A little news

So at noon today we still hadn't heard from the Dr., and I may have been freaking out a big...Everytime the phone would ring I would get the nervous tummy...and then when it turned out to be someone else, I would get a little mean. Sorry mom, dad, Cody, and Grandma..yes I was even mean to my Grandma. I wont apologize to the Dish network people who wont take the freakin hint to stop calling us. Maybe this time I was mean enough...

So I called Trav and made him call the office. Apparently the Doctor wasn't there today, meaning we wouldn't get our results till Monday. So he called the hospital and they let him come and pick them up.

So these results are as much as we can understand about the report, I'm sure on Monday the Dr. will help us understand more.

Almost everything was Stable, meaning there was no change at all. There is one spot in his lungs that has gone from 8mm to 1 cm, and I'm not sure how concerned the Dr. will be about that.

We are happy that things seem to be stable, but admittingly a bit bummed that there wasn't more shrinkage. :). We were sort of hoping for a miracle.

Maybe next time. I'm hoping that on Monday we will know a little more.

Thanks again for all the phone calls and visits.