{Back to Reality}

I have just spent the past hour browsing this blog and I am beyond thankful for it.

YEARS of our life has been documented here.

My beautiful ladies when they were tiny little angels.

Our family when we were 4.

Our family growing and changing.

It is a treasure.

I may be the only person who really looks at it anymore,

now that instagram has taken over the world,

but I am pretty grateful to have it.

Here's the latest:

For the past few years I have been begging the girls to jump on the Harry Potter train.

I LOVE these books and movies, and they just haven't jumped on board.

So I pretty much forced them to watching the first movie. 

(We read the book a few years ago and they were impartial.)

They both really liked it, though Roo has managed to cover her eyes through the hard parts.

We've watched the first 3-and I can't wait for the rest.

Love Live HP!

Going back to school has been rough of these tired ladies.

Sienna has managed to fall asleep on the couch multiple times.

Doesn't she look cozy?  I want to join her!

It has been so incredibly wonderful to get back up to Beaver this year.

I hadn't realized how much I missed it and have loved spending time up there with my girls,

and my friends.  I am pretty blessed to have a job that allows me to choose my own hours...

I've spent lots of weekdays up skiing, and lots of middle of the night hours working to make up for it.

Totally worth it!

This kid rocked the halls in school.

She was slightly excited!

Every time my kids accomplish a goal they can be proud of,

I feel less and less like I'm completely failing them.

Single parenting is tough!  I worry constantly that my kids aren't getting the guidance they 

deserve. That I am not getting them where they need to be-

so when they succeed I pat them on the back, and secretly pat myself there too.

Let's be honest though, these girls teach me more than I'll ever teach them.

They are resilient little troopers.

Our Bunco group manages to sneak in a few fun days as often as we can.

We snuck down to Station Park for shopping and dinner.

It was lovely.  These past few years I've been so taken care of by some of the most amazing women.

They are just fun, beautiful people who make me want to be a better person and mother.

And they are freaking hilarious too!

(Kristin Adler, Jen Lewis, Erin Davis, Suzie Clark, Brianne Hansen, Ashley Ballard, Courtney Mckay, Katie Davis, Me, Candace Mullen)

The ladies got some fresh color...

blue for Adyson and orange for Roo.

Thank goodness this fades extremely fast!

Another ski day with my dad.

After I posted this on instagram a few people were wondering if "Miguel" was my boyfriend.

I'm trying really hard not to think about how pathetic this is!  Really, though, hilarious stuff.

I guess most women my age don't have this great of a relationship with their Dad, 

but then most women my age aren't widows....so that's my excuse.

Plus, my dad is awesome.

But still, ew.

Adyson has been growing up.

I mean, really growing up.

She gets more texts and calls on my cell phone than I do.

And she is always talking about boys.

How did I manage to raise a boy crazy girl?

Certainly I wasn't like this at all???

Right?

We had Lexi stay with us for 9 days while her parent's were in Hawaii.

I managed to get them all to school on time every single day...

and we were only 11 minutes late for church.
Victory.

We loved having her and I loved listening to them giggle as they tried to sleep each night.

They have such cute friends.

The ladies have been in lessons at Beaver every Saturday, 

so I have 2 free hours to ski with my Dad, Kerry, Kyle and occasionally Dave.

Yep, me and the old guys.

Don't let me fool you though, they all can SKI and it's been fun trying to keep up!

I realize how blessed I am to have a great Dad, and so many great father figures.

Kyle plays relief society president and chats with everyone we see,

Kerry's laugh you can hear for miles,

and my Dad goes from giving me tips to become a better skier to tearing up because he's so happy to have me there.  It's the best 2 hours and I've appreciated hanging with them.

(Sienna calls them the Old Man crew.)

After Skiing today Adyson went to a friends, so Sienna and I went shopping for a bit.

I tried a jacket on and after a while decided I really didn't need it (because I have about a million already)!  Sienna grabbed $20 of her own money and stuffed it in my purse and told me she would pay for most of it if I'd buy it.  She is so sweet and thoughtful.  It really melted my heart.

(I gave her the money back with a big smooch on her cheek! ) But the thought.  It was just precious.

And that's really all that's happening here.  It's been a lot of skiing,

A lot of carpooling.  Singing Lessons, Play Practice and Soccer.

Sometimes I feel like I've been run over by a truck, 

but I know I'm incredibly blessed to have life full of so much fun.

I have days where I feel beyond frazzled and wonder how I can do it again tomorrow,

but those days are more and more rare...

That may be because I give my kids more and more chores...:()

but truly, I think over time our burdens are lifted.

I hope so anyhow!

Hope all is well.

{2015}

New Years Eve, for me, has probably been the worst Holiday since Travis passed away.

Last year I remember just feeling so incredibly lost when the clock struck midnight.

I was ending a year full of grief and ache, but it was a year that had Travis in it....

And I was entering a new year-one that Travis wouldn't really be a part of.

Looking back,

I did as good as I could have.

I made loads of mistakes.

But I have learned a lot in the past year,

and I think the girls and I have thrived the best we could.

That being said,

I was really dreading NYE.

Christmas is full of family activies.

I never felt like the awkward third wheel...

But NYE is a Holiday for couples and I kinda wanted to tuck myself in at 9 and forget about it!

But-

I knew my girls would want it to be fun, and so I tried really hard to make it so.

And you know what?

We had a GREAT NYE.

It was a fabulous night!

The house was full of people.

The cousins and friends ran around playing games all night.

We blew up balloons with activites inside that the kids could pop each hour,

and they LOVED it and it kept them so entertained that the adults played games and ate 

ourselves sick the entire night.

We made it till midnight and not once did I feel lonely or like a 5th wheel.

I felt completely content and excited about starting a new year fresh.

Last year instead of setting goals I would for sure break...

I followed a lot of my friends examples by choosing one word to help me be better throughout the year.

Last years was EMBRACE.

I wanted to embrace the good as much as I could.  Embrace the bad when I needed to.

Embrace my new life.  Embrace my kids.  Embrace it all.

It was a great word for last year.  One I reminded myself of often.

I've had a hard time choosing this years word, and it's because so many speak to me.  I have much work to do and so many of them are appropriate-but the word 

LISTEN 

is the one I keep coming back to.

This year, I am going to try harder to really LISTEN.

Listen to my kids sweet voices and hear what they really need.

Listen to what they are really saying, when they aren't quite being themselves.

Listen to my body and give it what it needs.

Listen to my heart and hope it takes me in the right places.

Listen to my friends when they uplift me.

Listen to my family who always wants whats best for me.

Listen to the Spirit.

Listen for answers to prayers.

Just Listen.

I am excited to focus on this.

I know it's what I need.

I hope 2015 is a great year for all my dear friends and family members!

(The ladies and I on NYE)

Glow in the dark Slumber party for Adyson...

around 1 am!

Darling friends and cousins at Midnight.

Darling Ladies in their Christmas Best.